Coercive Control & Forcing Compliance: Spotting Manipulation Tactics

Male supremacy, like any system of oppression, relies on entitlement and coercive control to force compliance and alter your reality. Anytime your gut tells you someone is trying to coerce you and force your compliance pause and reflect. Step away from the person to gain the clarity they're attempting to obscure.

Remember that oppressors invest everything into psychological manipulation to sew blindness and doubt into those they target. These manipulations are embedded into all social systems until they become hidden in plain sight, impossible to detect by most.

When we lift the veil of coercion we can be filled with shame, self-blame, and embarrassment. This can lead us to stay silent about our experiences, which is the hope of manipulators. They want us to be too ashamed to share our experiences with compliance so they can keep up their con. As scary as it may seem, we need to share these stories. They serve as documentation and inspiration for us and other women to lift the veil from their eyes and see how they too have been fooled.

As intelligent as I think I am, I have been fooled countless times in my life. Not because “I’m stupid”, but because of the reality that no human is immune to manipulation and coercion. No amount of vigilance can protect me fully from abusive tactics. I appreciate Charlotte Cowles’ vulnerability in sharing her experiences in a world that blames victims, not perpetrators of harm.

✍️ Journal Reflection Prompts:

• When have you experienced or witnessed the coercive control of male supremacy?

• When have you experienced or witnessed women and girls affected by this coercive control?

• Why do we feel shame/self-blame when someone else psychologically manipulates us?

• Are there any irrational beliefs that lead to this shame/self-blame?

• If yes, what are they and how can we challenge them?

  
  

📚 Resources to Explore:

• Saul Kassin, Psychology Professor, John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Reflections on compliance and coerced confessions.

• "The Day I Put $50,000 in a Shoe Box and Handed It to a Stranger: I never thought I was the kind of person to fall for a scam.", Charlotte Cowles, The Cut, February 15, 2024.