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Female Separatism Inquiry Series: Man's Weapons of Marriage, Politicized Heterosexuality, and Sexualized Violence
Feminist Consciousness-Raising
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🙋‍♀️ How to Use an Inquiry Series
The concept of inquiry series is a popular education method meant to share resources to help learners understand a topic and reach their own conclusions through critical thinking. Each section has an introduction to the materials, and readers can then checkout the provided resources. At the end of the process, you can go through the journal reflection questions to tap into your own experiences with the topics at hand. You can use an inquiry series individually, or gather together a group of women to go through the process together. Inquiry series are a great tool for consciousness-raising on any subject matter.
♦️Men’s Weapon of Marriage
In Practice 4B Movement’s latest post, she reinvigorates women to think about what it means to get married…married to the the 4B movement that is! Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the piece:
“Marriage is a contract to serve. It’s a structure built to protect male comfort at the cost of your power.” -Practice 4B
Sisters of all sexual orientations must join together to abolish marriage and build our own conceptions of romance, intimacy, desire, sex, and love from the ground up. We don’t need a government contract, we need liberation from male culture thinking!
You ever question which class of people benefits from romanticizing this legal contract we call “marriage?” I’ll give you three guesses…
Hint: “patriarchy hurts everyone” or “patriarchy is god’s way” are their favorite lines to say, so they don’t have to name themselves as the oppressors. This class of people love sex-neutrality whenever it benefits them.
♦️Men’s Weapon of Politicized Heterosexuality
The marriage contract is explicitly built on the politicization of heterosexuality. “Heteronormativity” or “Straightness”, is made into the standard and institutionalized through all facets of society. What should be a neutral and insignificant fact, your sexual orientation, is twisted into a politicized weapon under male culture thinking. We often talk about the politicization of gayness, lesbianess, bi-ness, but no orientation is more politicized than heterosexuality. The grooming into heteronormativity/straightness starts as soon as our parents find out our sex. Girls and boys are tracked on separate paths through sex-based stereotypes e.g. “gender,” with the female sex-class being the root target of gender’s oppression. This reality is what many of our sisters (and even brothers) are running from when they buy into the lie of transcending sex. Then there are the male culture-centered types exploiting gender ideology to perpetuate males’ oppression.
4B America explores the intersections of various weapons of males’ violence against women and girls—from heteronormativity to transgender gender ideology to filmed raped—our sisters remind us to avoid tunnel vision. Afterall, straightness is the original gender ideology, the one that precedes all other offshoots of gender.
Sisters focused on different issues within the Women’s Liberation Movement must listen to each other, even when some of the shit we say sounds ridiculous, so that we can ALL see the forest for the trees. Male culture tries to divide feminist women on his propagandized labels of “liberal”, “radical”, and “purity”, but we need to remember that we’re all simply women trying to destroy men’s violence against our people. We will be wrong about some things and right about others.
Seek first to understand. Actively listen.
Men want us separated in our analysis, so that we can’t connect the dots. We push back by stepping out of our echo chambers and listening to our sisters fighting in different trenches against different males.
WARNING: Seeing the connections will make it impossible for you to “Not My Nigel” your way out of saying #YesAllMenAndBoys.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the piece:
“The only way to be free as a woman is to be 4B. No sex with men, no giving birth, no dating men, and no marriage with men. ♀” -Delfina, 4B America
And the following quote hit my heart fully, because I don’t have to speculate on this; I have heard the stories straight from the mouths of the women in my family. I can’t tell you what it does to a girl, a woman, a daughter, when she learns the actions of her father, her uncles, her grandfathers, her cousins, against her people.
“The truth is that all of our mothers and grandmothers were probably raped, multiple times.” -Delfina, 4B America
♦️Men’s Weapon of Sexualized Violence: Digital Sexualized Exploitation
One of the tactics used to trap women with men through dating and marriage, is for males to make public space so hostile to us that we’re intimidated into retreating. The goal is to convince women that male violence is inevitable, and she will only be safe in the company of men who grace her with protection. In short, males say go with the devil you know and then maybe (just maybe) you can go out in public fearlessly, as long as that male stays by your side, and on your side. I reflect on the male “comrades” I have had over the years and how each and every single one of them, including my own blood brother, have indirectly or directly abandoned me in the name of male parasitism. Worse yet, when I call it out, these same males—my supposed loved ones—deny my testimony. And sadly my personal experiences aren’t an anomaly, but the norm.
In the 2020’s, the majority of people live in both physical and digital spaces. This motivates males to find digital methods of sexual harassment, to intimidate women out of online spaces. Each day there is a new story of a man or boy who has violated a woman or girl through digital means. The law has not caught up yet, nor is there any incentive under males’ violence, so currently women and girls have little recourse for these crimes. The everyday sexual harassment through online comments and direct messages doesn’t even get addressed. Only women can rely on themselves to see change.
Sasha S. Graham of Sister Surge Media shares a piece that addresses the weapons of digital sexualized exploitation and what we do to stand up and fight back. Our sister shares legislative plans to start tackling this problem by using the legal channels at our disposal. It’s an important read, and we need sisters to join these efforts so we have power in numbers. Are you in Florida? Then reach out to join on-the-ground efforts. Or get involved remotely by joining of of the many projects created by Distro Sisters.
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♦️Women’s Liberation Tools: Female Separatism
The next logical question after naming males’ violence against us, is thinking through what we can do to stop it.
Why do radical feminists promote female separatism?
Because that is where the root-cause analysis leads any critical thinker. Men built an illogical world with its foundation based on female exploitation. By tying this form of class-based oppression to intimate relationships, it creates the most insidious form of human enslavement to exist. Males Frankensteined connections between romance, intimacy, desire, sex, love, and reproducing, and put them all into the containers we call “dating” and “marriage.” This is what is meant by politicizing straightness. Males turned enslavement into an interpersonal relationship with women and girls; the original victims of slavery. Left, Right, and Center males work to shatter the connection between female separatism as the tool and path to female liberation. All oppressed groups use separatism as a strategy for liberation. It’s Black Wallstreet, it’s Chinatown, it’s Irish Pubs, it’s Womyn’s Lands. But only female separatism effects all oppressed males. It’s male culture thinking that keeps women naming males’ violence and parasitism as “patriarchy” and saying “it hurts everybody”, or picking their intersecting demographics over their sex-class. Just another manmade con job. #MaleRot at its finest. Yet no matter a males’ color, creed, or culture, he always picks his sex-class above all else. We’re told that female separatism is an affront to straightness, to marriage, to “the family”, while we look around at a patriarchal world that hates women, relationships, and families. Males’ lies require so much mind control that groups like Heritage Foundation and Focus on the Family exist and toil away writing workplans like Project 2025. If women collectively practiced female separatism and ALL of what that means, we would see major impacts in as little as ten years. Male institutions know this, and work around the clock to divide and conquer. The first decades and century of the shift to separatism will be filled with increased male violence, and the fear of that is no easy feat for us to overcome. That’s exactly why women and girls are in this mess in the first place…we’re battling against men and boys’ violence. But the false veneer on males’ myths are beginning to crack and peel. More and more sisters are ripping the lies away and getting to the truths of the males they call brother, son, father, uncle, cousin, neighbor, leader. And males with the power and control at the top fight to kill off every woman or girl screaming female liberation. The problem for these males is that we’re the 49%, we’re the reason they exist, and they can’t simply kill us all off. That’s the catch 22 for the enslaver: he’s a parasite through and through. Parasites aren’t masterminds or intelligent; they’re singularly driven by manipulating their host’s environments. The male parasite only gets called clever because he’s named parasitic manipulation as such. Once you’re able to deconstruct this particular male rot, expect to shatter all the lies you were told about what it means to be smart or powerful.
My sister Hilary Rowland informed me about there being sexed wings in the first place!
Looking to get your feet wet learning about what exactly this thing called Female Separatism is? Then checkout Marilyn Frye and Brandi Kochan’s work. These two women have had a profound impact on my intellect. I love getting smarter by listening to female culture thinking.
Here’s are a few of my favorite quotes from both these resources:
“Critical analysis is not hate, nor is a logical conclusion you dislike.” -Brandi Kochan
Source: “Some Thoughts on Separatism and Power” by Marilyn Frye
✍️ Journal Reflection Prompts
What does female separatism mean to you?
How can you practice centering women and girls in your day to day life?
What are your fears about saying no to men and boys?
What are your fears about separating from men and boys?
What will you lose and what will you gain if you practice separatism?
What can you do in your current relationships with males to gain more power and control over your life?
If separation from males doesn’t seem possible right now, what are some other ways you can practice female liberation?
What does it mean to you to get free?
Which woman or girl in your life can you spend more time with to uplift each other?
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