The Propaganda of "Not all Men": The derailing of root cause analysis

I’m unsure who said this quote, but I have heard it in response to the retort of “Not All Men” - a favorite phrase of sexist men (and women) who fear looking at male violence and admitting their place in it.

Navigating being part of an oppressed class means learning to be on the defensive. The biggest threat to women and girls is male violence. One way we cope with that is being on the defense when dealing with males. It’s impossible to be vigilant all the time, and sadly when we do let our guard down we are quickly reminded why we keep it up in the first place. These realities can be difficult to comprehend for those who share the demographics of the oppressor class. It can trigger their fragility and put them on the offensive, with the attack, “Not all men!” This is because such people look through an individualistic lens, ignoring the realities of violence against women and girls. Just like some parents teach their Black and Brown children defensive strategies for surviving white supremacy, some parents teach their female children defensive strategies for surviving male supremacy. Fragility-based responses to these truths only perpetuate the entitlement of those in the oppressor class. They derail root cause analysis of male violence and become propaganda against feminist discourse.

With time I’ve learned to not take the bait when someone says, “Not all men!.” I won’t let them distract me with myths and meaningless debates. I do what I need to do to exit the conversation and laugh to myself at the lies people tell themselves.

📚 Resources to Explore:

• “Hello! You've reached the Not All Men Hotline”, Liberating Motherhood

✍️ Journal Reflection Prompts:

• What is your conversational exit strategy when dealing with a person who is denying the reality of male violence?

  • Creating quick responses can aid in assertive communication, reducing triggers, and feeling empowered to walk away.